How should expats adapt best to life in Spain

I attended a dinner last night hosted by InterNations at a Finca in Cancelada, a small town located between the municipalities of Benahavis and Estepona. The dinner featured middle eastern dishes and more than forty people of different nationalities including many Spanish-born friends from cities such as Bilbao and Cordoba were there. The event was held on the Fourth of July, the celebration of the Independence of the United States of America, but I was probably the only U.S. Citizen in attendance.
But the most peculiar incident that I witnessed was this conversation that I had with someone who is an expat living in Spain. She complained about the changes that she said were negatively impacting the wellbeing of that community of InterNations which was founded around the world to gather people from different nations and cultures. InterNations is a paid membership and they organize social events such as the one we were attending last night.
Her main complain was about the shift she said was occuring in the membership. Too many foreign expats were abandoning membership and many Spaniards were joining what she called a "club of expats". I disagreed with her on her assessment because as I told her "Having Spaniards joining InterNations was an enrichment to the organization and will provide expats with the opportunity to meet Spanish people who can share their culture with them, teach them many positive aspects of their home country and make them feel at home" to which she answered that "Spaniards had "no culture whatsoever". I was so shocked by her response that I ended the dialogue and went to sit with my friends Jose and Fernando, both long time members of InterNations for whom I have profound respect and admiration. I could not refrain from commenting to them what had just happened and they were both appalled.
The point of this story is "how should citizens of other nations who voluntarily choose to relocate in Spain's Costa del Sol go about engaging in social interactions such as joining communities like InterNations or others"? There are expats from many countries who join these groups and this area of Spain is one of the most cosmopolitan communities in the world. I remember my conversation some time ago with an employee of the Town Hall of Benahavis. She told me that 76 percent of the municipality's population is made by foreigners who moved here either permanently of made Benahavis their second home.
This reminds me of another story. I once befriended a lady from the U.K. who has been living here for the past twenty years and she doesn't even know how to say "good morning" in Spanish. When I offered to assist her as a translator on a visit to a hospital, she forcefully complained about the fact that the clinic's personnel could not speak English. I responded to my friend: "after so many years in Spain, you are the one who should take up to learning Spanish".
My advice to expats is very simple: you can have an international circle of friends at Costa del Sol. There are people from many countries living here, from Sweden to Denmark, Germany, Ireland, England, Russia, France etc...some Europeans or from elsewhere. They all speak English and it is the common language that is used here. Most of the waiters at local restaurants are bilingual but it impresses them when the patrons try to say a few words in Spanish such as "la comida era deliciosa" or "excelente servicio". Making Spanish friends is also very important to having a happy life in Costa del Sol. Frequenting bars and restaurants where locals go is also a great way to meet people from Spain. They can also recommend the best places to go eat or the most culturally rich events to attend.
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